I'm about a week or so behind the times on this news story, but it turns out... THERE'S A FRIKKIN' HOLE IN JUPITER!

How could such a thing happen? What caused it? The story says that something nearly the size of the Earth plunged into the atmosphere of Jupiter and left this huge hole.

You mean to tell me there are things, EARTH SIZED THINGS, just floating around out there waiting to plunge into the atmosphere of perfectly innocent and seemingly unaware planets at any moment?

Frankly, if anything even approaching the size of a Mini Cooper is coming toward MY planet, I want to KNOW about it! And then I want Bruce Willis sent up there to DO something about it! And if we can't get Bruce, then at least get Robert Duvall and Morgan Freeman to work on the problem!

By the way, I don't want to hear about how Jupiter was asking for it, dressing that way. Jupiter is a nice planet, I don't care what anyone says.

Next time something like this happens, could somebody just give me the slightest hint of a heads up? I mean, JEEZ!